I need to see your updated script so I can specifically comment about the 5 points. Right off the bat I can hear that the audio is soft and isn't clear. Mrs. Nii's interview almost sounds like it was from the camera and not the wireless mic. I also see lots of jump cuts in interviews with people. That cannot happen. You need to insert b-roll to try to cover those spots up. I would also suggest you film your interviews away from a wall. Those shots lack depth and they are not pleasing to the eye. The story is getting better but still needs a lot of work. Post the script so I can better help you.
3 points = B
One other thing....you tend to say the same things twice...once in your VO that introduces a point and then we hear it right after in the clip itself. If the person is saying it, you don't need to.