I know b-roll was an issue with this story because of the privacy issues in filming a foster child but I think you did a great job in getting what you could without showing the girl's face. I like the hand drawn pictures and the cookie making too. Overall this is a great story on the need we have on our island for foster parents. You explain why there is a need, the process to become a foster parent, and you show us an example of a wonderful family who has stepped up to provide for these children in need. Excellent work in this regard. I like how you added the phone number at the end to contact if you are interested in becoming a parent but I think you need to actually show the number as well for people who are visual. The things that need attention in your video deal with the technical aspects like your audio. What happened here? The audio sounds terrible in the interviews with the Aguilars. I also see a mic cable on the OUTSIDE of his shirt. Did we forget all about our expectations when filming an interview? Mics on the outside are forbidden unless there is some highly unusual circumstance. Sadly, these interviews have to be redone if you want this on Hiki No. They will not accept audio that sounds like that. Kirra, you also need to work on your voice overs so that you don't sound so "sing-songy." What that means is that your voice tends to go up really high and then down and then up. It doesn't sound natural. Yes, you have to have a lot of energy and you can't sound "blah" but you really have to watch that you don't get too high and do the up and down thing. This is hard to explain so try and listen to your project by closing your eyes. Just listen to the words being spoken. When you close your eyes and just focus on the sound, you will easily tell where the problems in your audio in this project are. You will be able to hear your voice go up like it does that doesn't sound like the normal you. Try this and let me know what you think.
Story wise, this was done very well. Technically, this wasn't very strong. I'm actually surprised at seeing the problems I'm seeing here from you both after seeing such a well done story on Moses in the first quarter. Remember, good to great involves every aspect of your video. Having one part strong while another is weak won't make this a great story. Let's work to make sure these technical issues don't come in the way of a great grade in your PSAs. This is a 3.7 which is an A-.